Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
