Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
