clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
