my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
MIDGETS
????
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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