you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
