As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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