i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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