During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
