They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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