Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Someone shattered a urinal.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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