smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
