The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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