Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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