Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
