There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
