I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
