I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
