i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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