Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
