so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
