Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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