I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
