I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
