So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
