I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
