Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You can't special order awesome
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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