DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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