I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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