I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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