I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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