I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
