So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
