we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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