Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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