You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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