hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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