we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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