How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So vagazzling was a success
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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