So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
