Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have aggressive nipples.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
