Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
