my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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