You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Only a mothe r could love this liver
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
