The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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