No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
