You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
