Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
