for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
