Me. At least after what I've been through.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
