My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
