I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
