is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
