She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sorry my hands just texted you
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
